They say your past always shows up when you least expect it. Brenden Smith made a promise to himself that he would never put his heart on the line again. He swore off romance after his last breakup. But what happens when the man he thought he was over shows up in his life with news he wasn’t expecting?
Stephen Young broke off his relationship with Brenden over a misunderstanding and miscommunication. Working for the FBI, he knew it was only a matter of time before he and Brenden would work together. Will they be able to cooperate and put the past behind them? Or will Stephen’s secret keep them apart?
Stephen Young sat at the bar sipping his drink. He felt great, and nothing or no one could ruin his night. He’d been invited to Ethan and Tyler's wedding. The ceremony was held in Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton’s backyard. And the reception and after party took place at the Garden hotel owned by one of Mr. Hamilton’s business associates. He didn't know Ethan all that well, but Tyler he'd met and seen a couple of times a few months earlier when he’d worked on a case alongside Jaxson and Brenden. A case that also involved Tyler’s little brother, Christen, getting kidnapped.
Which was how he ended up getting an invitation to the wedding. He turned around on his barstool and rested his elbows on the top, examining the room. There were quite a few handsome men in the place. Too bad they were straight as an arrow who knew how to hit a target on the first try. And if they were gay, they were no doubt taken by some equally handsome guy.
Stephen's plan was to attend the wedding, then sneak out through the back door and be at home before anyone realized he was gone. But that didn't happen, one of the groomsmen in the wedding party had apparently gotten injured on his way to the wedding and was in the hospital with a busted knee. Tyler asked him to take his friend's place in the wedding. Stephen and the guy were about the same size, and the guy's suit had fit him perfectly.
It should have felt a bit awkward being in the wedding party, but the Hamiltons had a way of making you feel as if you were a part of their family. To Stephen it seemed as if they were great at picking up strays and giving them a home. He shook his head at how swiftly Marylin Hamilton had thrown everything together.
“I think this is the first time I've seen you dressed up,” a deep voice whispered in his ear.
Stephen turned his head to the side and locked eyes with the man he'd love to hate but never could. Brenden Smith, the man he once gave his heart to willingly and could never take it back, even if he wanted to. Brenden cleaned up exceptionally well; he had on a black suit paired with a white shirt with the top buttons opened, showing a bit of skin. His bowtie was undone and hanging loosely around his neck. He looked so good that Stephen wanted to undress him slowly.
Shit, I need to get laid. It's been too fucking long since I've been pinned up against a wall, or tied to a bed and fucked within an inch of my life. The last time that happen was with the man standing beside me. Who knew Brenden was the one to bring that side out of me?
“Don’t tell me, cat got your tongue?” Brenden chuckled, his warm breath ghosting over his ear caused him to shiver. “Your mouth rarely knows when to shut up.” His tongue trailing along the outer shell of Stephen’s ear. He could smell the vodka mixed with a hint of mint on Brenden’s breath and whatever cologne he was wearing. Stephen swallowed discreetly, hoping to hide the effect that the older man’s scent was having on him.
Stephen rolled his eyes but did not move away, even though he knew he should. “What do you want, Brenden?”
“You, for one night,” he whispered trailing kisses down his ear and to his neck. “For one night, let me hold you again and hear you scream my name the way you used to.” Brenden nipped at Stephen’s neck lightly.
Stephen's mouth fell open, he exhaled deliberately, closing his eyes, enjoying the tiniest amount of tension draining from his body. He didn’t want to look around the ballroom to see who was watching them. He suspected no one knew about their past, but knew about the animosity between them. He opened his eyes and looked at Brenden’s lust-filled green eyes. He wanted the same thing—to feel Brenden on top of him, making love to him. But he had to find a way to resist the other man.
“You're either drunk or delusional.”
Brenden chuckled, “I’m neither of those, baby, just happy to see you.” He took Stephen’s hand, the one that wasn’t holding his drink, and rubbed it shamelessly on his hard cock. “Does that feel delusional to you?”
No, it doesn’t, Stephen thought. He didn't respond with words, his fingers traced Brenden’s cock deliberately. The other man closed his eyes and hissed. His hand went to the back of Stephen’s neck and he leaned in closer, resting his forehead against his. “Come on, use me for one night. We can fuck each other out of our systems. Just for tonight, then we can walk away from each other for good. No regrets.”
“You sound desperate,” Stephen whispered, lowering his eyes to Brenden’s lips.
“I am.” Brenden smirked. “And I know you want me, just as much as I want you.”
“How can you tell that?” he asked, looking up and into Brenden’s face.
“You haven’t told me to go fuck myself, yet. You’re never shy about putting me in my place.” Brenden chuckled.
“Why are you doing this?” Stephen asked.
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want this? Because we both know you would be lying.” Brenden raised his head staring down at him.
“I’m not saying that,” Stephen defended. He tried to pull his hand away, but Brenden held on to it tighter.
“Then what’s the problem? You’re not seeing anyone, and neither am I. Like I said, one night to get each other out of our systems for good.”
“How are you so sure I’m not seeing anyone?”
Brenden smiled confidently, and Stephen wanted to hate him for it.
“If you were, you wouldn’t let me touch you,” Brenden told him. “One night, that’s all I need to completely get you out of my system, and you can do the same with me.”
Stephen was sure that even after one night he could never get Brenden out of his system. The man had left his prints all over his body years earlier. The truth was he wanted to be with Brenden, in more ways than one. He missed having the older man in his life, and it hurt when they had broken off their relationship years earlier. If that was his last chance to be with the other man, he wasn’t going to pass it up. He looked around the rest of the room, making sure everyone was busy and not paying them any attention. “What’s your room number?” Stephen asked.
Brenden tugged him gently off the barstool, not waiting for his answer. He set his empty glass down on the bar top then took Stephen’s drink from him, downing the rest. He slammed the empty glass down then looked at Stephen. “Come on,” he said as they started walking out of the room.
Stephen stumbled a bit as the alcohol took effect. Righting himself, they hurried to the elevator. The minute the door closed behind them, Brenden was on him. Stephen didn’t fight what was happening, he wanted it, he wanted Brenden with a fierce passion. It’d been so long since he was last touched with such wantonness. He was roughly pinned against the wall. Their kisses needy as Brenden devoured his mouth, licking and nibbling on his lips. It was familiar; his hands roamed everywhere he could touch. He wrapped his leg around Brenden’s hip and humped against the other man.
Brenden brought his hands down and gripped Stephen’s hips, stilling his movements. They stopped kissing only for the need to breathe. The elevator doors opened, and they exited. The entire time Brenden held on to his hand, leading the way. Stephen happily followed. Once they were in the room, they were back on each other again. Brenden had him pinned against the closed door. He started undressing Brenden, needing to touch his lover's hot skin.
“Off,” he breathed against Brenden’s lips. “Need to feel.” Stephen pushed Brenden’s jacket down his arms.
Brenden released him and backed up, their eyes never leaving each other as he continued undressing. He got his jacket off letting it fall to the floor. Stephen pulled himself off the door and stopped Brenden’s hand when he reached for his belt.
“Let me do it,” Stephen told him. Brenden reached up and touched the side of his face. “What?”
“You haven’t changed,” he whispered. Stephen blushed, and Brenden smiled. “I…” He started but stopped himself.
“What were you going to say?” Stephen asked as he went to his knees and looked up.
Brenden carded his fingers through Stephen’s hair. “It’s nothing,” he responded. He pushed his pants and underwear below his hips, releasing his hard cock. Stephen got dizzy for a second when Brenden’s aroused scent smacked him in the face. He licked his lips eagerly watching Brenden grip his cock. He applied pressure on the back of Stephen’s head moving his face closer to his erect cock. He smeared his precum on Stephen’s lips, teasing him. Without thinking, he moaned and licked his lips before swiping his tongue on the head of his lover’s cock.
Brenden groaned and Stephen hummed in sweet bliss. He was always greedy for Brenden’s cock in his mouth and ass. He opened his lips to take Brenden’s cock between his lips when he was grabbed by the back of his hair, pulling him away from enjoying his meal. His frustration building, he growled and looked up at the other man showing his displeasure.
The bastard has the nerve to fucking chuckle. Not to be deterred, he gripped Brenden’s wrist, guiding the other man’s cock into his mouth. Closing his eyes the second he felt the weight of Brenden’s cock on his tongue.
“All you had to do was ask for it,” Brenden told him, but Stephen wasn’t paying him any attention, he’d finally gotten what he wanted. He looked up at Brenden, who was staring down at him. One of his hands was caressing Stephen’s cheek. He’d missed the feeling of Brenden towering over him. The way the man was looking down at him with lust in his eyes. “Shit, I love the way your mouth feels on my cock. So hot… so fucking good.”
Stephen reached up with one of his hands and tweaked one of Brenden’s nipples. He groaned and his hips jerked, pushing his cock to the back of his throat. Brenden’s large hand gripped the back of his neck. His fingers tightened on his neck, guiding the movements. Brenden’s hips moved in tandem as he fucked Stephen’s mouth. Brenden was breathing heavily, his moans turned into groans and grunts the faster his thrusts got. Stephen loosened his jaw and allowed Brenden to use his mouth.
Brenden’s testicles slapped against his chin with each thrust. Stephen reached down and unzipped his trousers, taking out his cock and pulling on it. He was about to come. His throat would be sore in the morning from the sweet abuse it was experiencing. Fingers tightened on his skull, and Brenden grunted long and loud as his cum flooded his mouth. Stephen sucked and swallowed, trying with all his might to let none of his lover’s sweet essence leak from his lips. Cum spurted into his hand, he moaned around Brenden’s cock, and the taller man visibly shivered. His fingers caressed Stephen’s hair. He licked Brenden’s cock clean before letting it slip from his mouth. He opened his eyes and looked up, and their eyes met.
“You always knew how to make me weak just by using your mouth,” Brenden rasped and kneeled in front of Stephen, cupping his face. He licked from his chin to his lips, pulling him into a kiss. Stephen had missed this, missed feeling as if he belonged to the one man who owned his heart.
Stephen snapped his eyes open, waking from a deep sleep. He looked around the room and noticed that he was not at home and tried to remember what had happened the night before. Movement behind him alerted him to the fact he was not alone in the bed. Gradually, he turned his head and recognized the blond hair, as everything came rushing back to him in a flood.
The day before was Ethan Beaumont and Tyler Hamilton’s wedding. Stephen closed his eyes and remembered Brenden asking that they sleep together one last time. Fuck, I gave into him so naturally. Which had led to them going to Brenden’s hotel room and spending the night fucking on every flat surface that was available. He would love to blame it on the alcohol he’d consumed at the bar, but he’d only had one drink before Brenden approached him.
He’d always loved being with the other man in the first place. Stephen waited for the feeling of regret, that he’d made a terrible mistake agreeing to sleep with his ex-lover. Nothing, he felt nothing. Brenden knew precisely how to make his body hum to his tune with every touch. Stephen opened his eyes and looked at Brenden once more and was glad that the man was still asleep.
Deciding it was best that he’d be gone before Brenden woke up, he carefully removed the covers and slipped out of bed. He looked around the room and gathered his clothes quietly, dressing as he made his way to the door. Stephen picked up his shoes and stood by the door, he turned to look at Brenden. He knew sneaking out was a spineless thing to do, but he couldn’t face Brenden right then. What could he say? Like Brenden said it was a way to get each other out of their systems. They might see each other again because of work, but other than that, nothing else was keeping them together.
That’s a lie, Stephen heard a voice say in the back of his mind. Something was keeping them tethered together. Stephen was keeping a secret from Brenden, a secret he hoped he would never have to reveal to the other man. He looked away and, quietly as he could, Stephen opened the door and slipped out, letting that part of his past close behind him.
Brenden snapped his eyes open the exact time the door closed quietly behind Stephen. He rolled over on his back, sighing and looked up at the ceiling. Shit, I fucked up.
Whatever happened between him and Stephen shouldn’t have happened, but it did, and there was nothing he could do to change it. Brenden chalked it up to drunken sex. He was happy for Ethan and Tyler and had drank a little too much the night before. He remembered admiring how good Stephen looked in his suit. It wasn’t like it was the first time seeing the other man dressed up, but there was something different about the way he looked the night before. Brenden remembered he was the one to start the conversation between them. It wasn’t his intention to offer that they should sleep together. He’d simply wanted to talk to Stephen.
While working on a case a few months earlier, Brenden had tried very hard not to be left alone with Stephen. Because he knew he was still attracted to the younger man, but he was also angry. He hoped that holding on to his anger was the best way to do things. That way he wouldn’t show how much he was still attracted to the other man. However, his attraction had won out. Brenden got out of bed and picked up his scattered clothes, throwing them on the bed.
He placed his hands on his hips as his eyes traveled around the room. The sex was excellent as always, from what he remembered. Brenden sighed and ran his hands through his short blond hair. He was feeling guilty for using Stephen, he still believed it shouldn’t have happened no matter how much he wanted the other man. He should have felt some sort of closure, it only made Brenden realize that things between them were not settled. Brenden was still a bit unclear about why they’d broken up five years earlier. He’d told Jaxson that they both wanted separate things, when in truth Brenden was hedging toward a commitment with Stephen. He’d been debating on asking for a transfer so they could be together.
After they broke off their relationship, Brenden couldn’t get out of Chicago fast enough. That was the last time he saw Stephen until a few weeks earlier. Stephen hadn’t changed, he was still sexy as hell, his hair was a lot longer than the last time they’d seen each other, it added to his allure. His eyes were still the same mesmerizing violet that always seemed to eat him up whenever their eyes connected.
He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted Stephen, and he was never one to deny himself of things he wanted. Brenden sat on the edge of the bed looking down, spotting his wallet on the floor. He grabbed it, then threw it on top of his rumpled suit. His wallet flipped open, and Brenden furrowed his brows when he spotted the familiar gold foil wrapper edges sticking out of it. Picking up his wallet again, Brenden pulled out the packet and gasped, the condom he’d stuck in there the day before was still intact. Brenden threw it back to the bed and flopped down.
An unopened condom packet could mean two things. One, I fucked up royally and Stephen will be pregnant with my child. Or two, we used the condoms he brought.
Brenden sighed and sat up, he looked over to the wastebasket sitting next to the bed and sighed in relief when he saw the used condom in the trash can.
Crisis averted, not sure what I would have done if he would have gotten pregnant.
Brenden got up and got dressed. After what happened between him and Stephen he should’ve been able to move on with his life. But something told him that it would never be closed. He’d rarely dated since he and Stephen had called off their relationship. He looked back at the bed and remembered what had happened between them. The way Stephen felt and looked writhing beneath him still lingered freshly in his mind. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before opening them again, looking at the bed one last time.
It was time to move on with my life. Not sure what the fuck I was waiting for.
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